


Twisted

by Ereri_lover897



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Arguing, BDSM, Bars and Pubs, Birthday Sex, Break Up, Campfires, Christmas Shopping, Christmas Smut, Drama, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Drunken Kissing, Eren Is a Little Shit, Eren is in Denial, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gang Violence, Heavy Angst, Hotel Sex, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Ice Skating, Levi Loves Eren Yeager, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Minor Erwin Smith/Eren Yeager, Morning Cuddles, Mpreg, One Night Stands, Past Drug Use, Porn With Plot, Possessive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Puppy Love, Road Trips, Romance, Rough Oral Sex, Same-Sex Marriage, Sex Toys, Shower Sex, Star Gazing, Surprise Kissing, Surprises, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Wall Sex, We'll get through this, eren deserves happiness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-05-26 05:32:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14993852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ereri_lover897/pseuds/Ereri_lover897
Summary: "I was rendered useless, my body, my soul, all belonged to that man..."Eren Yeager, a notorious gang leader with a dark background, swore he'd never fall in love, but when fate turns the table, what happens when he comes face to face with a bartender named Levi ackerman?  mind altering choices, bounded by fate, trust, and Love, threaten Eren, searing the words he once swore upon.





	1. Chapter 1

   **Chapter One: Defiance**

* * *

 

I lit my cigaerette as I walked into the cold dark, sucking in the bitter taste and closing my eyes. Families walked all around me, smiling and laughing. I came to accept long ago, that I'll never get that. I was born to kill, fight, and steal for my life. I didn't used to have anything, my parents left when I was 6, to die in the cold. But in that horrible mess, a man named Jean saved my life. Jean was my purpose to live, and when he passed away, due to a gumshot wound to the head, I became one of the most renounced mafia leaders thanks to him. It wasnt much, but it's all ive ever known.

I built my group up from the ground up, and I've killed more lifes than I can count. But something always seem empty, a part inside me, that no matter how much I steal, lie, kill, or barter, it never fills the gaping hole. I used to think, if I continue what I always do, itll go away, but it never did.

I shook off my thoughts and stomped my cigarette under my foot as I walked into the downtown bar. Clashes of glasses and loud music filled the area. Through the haze smoke, I noticed Erwin sitting at the bar, he seemed to be having a conversation with the bartender. I was immediatly intrigued. The man had black hair sporting an undercut underneith, and a fancy bartender outfit that set off his stoic vibe. Although he seemed peculiarly short in height for a grown man.

The man didn't seem tp notice me when I sat down, instead he moved to the next available person. Erwin slammed his shot glass down in irritation.

"Its funny seeing you here Eren, maybe its fate." I winced at his slurred words.  
"You wish, I'm not going back to you Erwin."  
"Yknow Armin left me, he just walked out and I dont know why."

My eyes widened at his words, that's why he was here. Erwin never used to drink, so seeing him like this worried me. There was still a faint tenderness inside me I will always hold for Erwin, but things will never be the same. At some point, I was in love with Erwin, I thought he loved me too, until the day I found him in bed with my best friend Armin. I swore Id never fall in love again, nor did I deserve it. Erwin was the only person to fix me, he stopped my fighting, drinking, even stealing.

But the moment he left, I was left alone in this hellhole I've always been in. Fully convinced I didn't deserve anything regarding happiness or love. There was a short silence between us before I realized the bartender was coming over to me. I thought I kept all my composure, until he leaned over the counter, cleaning one of the glasses.

"Well are you going to order something, or stand thrre dumbfounded like a deer in the headlights?"

If it wasn't for his oversexualizing deep voice, I would have punched him. "A strawberry daquery please?" I heard Erwin chuckle next to me, "You haven't changed have you Eren?" I smiled fondly at his words. "I can't exactly say the same to you, I cant believe the I'm-always-going-to-be-sober-Erwin is drinking." I laughed playing with my lip ring between my teeth.

After a few drinks, everything around me seemed to go fuzzy. My head spun while I continued my conversation with Erwin, conversations about the past, good and bad memories. If I wasn't so distracted, I would have been able to pay attention to Levi, who gave me more drinks than the other, even when I didn't ask for them. Pretty soon, I couldn't focus anymore, I felt strong hands slide up my thighs. It didn't take me long to realize those hands belonged to Erwin, a familiar warmth overcame me as he pulled me to the dance floor.

I was suprised I could even stand up, but those familiar arms kept me steady. "Put it on me deeper" was playing, seeming to add to the mood. Red and purple hue lights illuminated everyone around us. In the back of my mind, I knew this wrong, but my body worked on its own. Pressing those warm lips against mine, my mind was to foggy to even care. My hands slid slowly down Erwins sides, pulling closer to feel even the slightest amount of friction. The loud music drowned out my moans when Erwins lips found the hollow parts of my neck.

It took me a minuite before I realized the warmth instantly left me. When I opened my eyes, in the haze of the music and drunken state, Erwin was on the floor, with levi standing over hin clenching his fists. Then it dawned on me, _Levi punched Erwin._ Standing up wiping his mouth, my mind was only able to put bits and peices together. Watching Erwin storm off into the fog. I tried to take one step but my balance left me, Instead of hitting the floor, I fell into unfamilar arms. I mumbled incoherent insults as he pulled me out of the bar.

"I need a cab, 134 west street, yes, thank you." Irritation rose in Levis voice as he turned to me.  
"Why the hell would you let him touch you like that??" It didnt take long before Levis voice raised to yelling. I couldn't say anything anything, I only stared at him, in my drunken curiosity. I knew id be mad in the morning, for now I was admiring this strange man, who's last face I saw before everything went black.

When I opened my eyes the next norning, I wasn't in my bed. My head pounded as I scanned the room around me, I had never been in a room so fancy. glasswindows on the side, outlooked the city, the room was large with wooden floors, and dark brown antique dressers. The bed I was laying in, was a california king bed.

"Well well, look who's awake." My thoughts were interupted by a deep voice, my heart seemed to stop when I saw him. Levi was leaning against the door frame with only a towel on his waist. Black hair clung to the sides of his face, I tried to keep my eyes fron moving down Levis chisled body. _Holy hell. "_ Why am I here?" My voice cracked, obviously destroyed from the night before. "You should be thanking me brat." Levi scoffed rolling his eyes while I narrowed mine. What gave him the right to be so cocky?

"I suggest you take that tylonal next to your bed, or your heads going to kill you."  
"No, I'm fine, I'll just go home."  
"Oi, I was just trying to be nice."  
"I don't need your help!" I snapped as I got up walking towards the nearest door I could find. As soon as I found the right door, Levi slammed his hand on the door frame, blocking me from leaving. "You're about to rethink your cocky attitude, brat."

"Tsk, yeah like im afraid of you, I've dealt with people much worse than you." My words must have no have matched up to my facial expressions. For I froze when I met silver eyes only inches from mine. Levi was so close I could feel his warmth breath. Damnit why wasn't I moving? As soon as our lips were a hairs length away, the phone rang. "Just ignore it? He growled quietly sliding his hands down my arms, causing a shiver to rise from my throat.

The phone didn't stop, pretty soon, Levi paused taking off out the door to answer the phone. My back hit the door as I slid down, I swore id never let someone get close to me like that again. I had to get out of here, before I was pulled into something else. I quietly walked through the apartment, praying I could get out safely of the chaotic maze of a hallway. but of course, I was wrong. I slammed right into Levi, who stood there fuming with his arms crossed. No longer in a towel, he was in jeans, and a light blue shirt, with sleeves that stopped at the elbows. The shirt seemed so tight; It looked like it would have ripped off him any minuite.

"I never said you could leave, I saved your life, the least you could do is give me a little fun." Levi grabbed onto my wrist, I tried desperatly to lose his grasp while his lips grazed my ear. I was rendered useless when his knee moved up, causing me to gasp. With all the strength I had I could muster up, I pushed Levi off me and took off towards the door. When I reached outside, I called my roommate Mikasa.

"Hey, come pick me up, im at 134 west street." After hearing her chew my ear out for what seemed like forever, she hung up. A red convertible pulled up with a very, very angry mikasa in the drivers seat. But I was thankful, if i didn't have her Id most likely be homeless. She can be a pain, but I learned to deal with it.

"What happened with Erwin and you, he's been calling me nonstop?" I froze in the middle of lighteing my ciggarette, letting the flame die down as I shrugged my shoulders. Trying to push away last nights thoughts as much as possible. I wanted to get rid of those thoughts of Levi, those eyes, that body, and that voice. I don't need any of it, or so I thought.

I didn't check my phone the whole way home, and that was a big mistake because by the time we got home, I had 32 missed calls from non other than Levi. I must have figured he got my number when I fell asleep. I turned off my phone and walked to my room, thankful to be in my own bed. But even when I closed my eyes, I still pictured Levi, the way his body felt against mine, and the radiated warmth. I didn't want to care about this, I had to avoid him as much as possible. Before it's to late, and im pulled in. Eventually I closed my eyes, and drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: emotions**

* * *

   The morning sun cascaded into my window in the morning hours, spilling into the darkest corners. I didn’t dare check my phone, wishing it was broken. Knowing all to well that my phone would be littered with messeges and calls from Levi. If I just pushed him out of my head things would be okay, or atleast that’s what I thought. But the places where Levi touched me ached, and somewhere in the back of my mind I yearned for that man, the man I only knew for one day. The man who saved my drunk ass from my ex. The man who shouldn’t have came into my life, but yet I let him in anyway.

  Instead of brooding all morning, I drug my body away from the comfort and sanctuary of my bed to go make coffee. My roomate Mikasa was still asleep, and god forbid I wake her up from a dead sleep, especially when it’s super early. My mind traced back to when I woke up in Levis bed, the luxurious penthouse, The sillhouette of the beautiful man standing in the doorway. It was like some dream you never want to wake up from. But like always, this was reality. Even if my whole body, heart and soul reached for Levi. Everything would remain a dream, I was a killer; Infinite, evil.

  Levi was like a light, a small beacon of hope in a dark time. But I, of all people knew all to well I would crush that light. Nobody stuck by my side, not Jean, or my parents. I was always alone. I gave up on trust, I gave up on a reason to live. And Levi intruded, barging in to save the day like some kind of superhero. But I didn’t want to be saved, I was fine in my darkness, I didn’t need a light to shine on me. I didn’t need a hero to rescue me, and I wasn’t a damsel in distress.

  I slid my coffee cup to my lips and took a sip, the warmth of the black coffee filling me up inside. I paused after taking another sip, processing my thoughts.

  Even if I loved Levi with all my heart, I was still a killer. And id be damned if I let Levi get caught in my fucked up world. Maybe what was best, is to just ignore him. But one thing I couldn’t ignore was the sinking feeling in my chest. the small thought in the back of my mind that maybe I should stay. The last little bit of my sub conscious emotions stirring inside my blood, boiling it to a core.

  If I had any shred of sanity or hope left, it vanished long ago. All my life has been blood lust; dark, empty, the solitude ive always remained confined it was my comfort. Now suddenly someone comes along, and tries to pull me from my comfort. It was only one night, nothing happened. So why? Why did my mind trace back to Levi over and over. Maybe in a different world. 

  I was hoping I could finish my coffee and escape from the apartment before my Mikasa woke up. But it was to late, my stomach dropped when the door opened. Her torso leaned against the doorway and hair strewn across her face. Mikasa usually keeps to herself in the mornings, but this time she walked over to me; I jumped as her hand slid over my hand that held the coffee cup. 

  "Eren, what happened? I mean I'm aware that you slept over at some guys house. But those one night flings after Erwin just isn't going to help you forget him." 

 Worry traced along the lines of Mikasa' s voice, but anger began to fuel me. For awhile after Erwin, I messed around alot. But I stopped a long time ago, and Mikasa didn't control me. I ripped my hands away from her warm touch taking a step back before retorting; 

 "Look, Mikasa please stay out of my business. Nothing happened between me and that guy. He just gave me somewhere to stay because I was drunk and that was it. I'm not some cheap white." I felt no regret in the words I said as Mikasas eyes grew wide. Her face quickly twisting into a pained expression. 

 "Eren please listen to me, Levi is-" But I didn't let Mikasa finish her words. Somehow, someway, Mikasa knew who he was. I slammed the coffee cup down as realization hit me, that was how Levi got my number. My body seethed with anger. 

  "How do you know his name?!" I tried to keep my voice quiet unsure of why it bothered me so deep in my core. It's not like Levi was anything to me, but probably flirted with her. Just like he did me. Mikasa seemed just as surprised as me, confusion now crossing her expressions.

 "Look, Eren I know it seems confusing but you don't know Levi. You aren't aware of what he's capable of." My fists clenched at Mikasas vacant words. Then what did that make me? I was a monster. Probably far worse than Levi.  

 "Then what does that make me Mikasa? How do you know about Levi? Did you sleep with him? Did you date him? you just can't stay out of anyone's business can you" Words flew out if my mouth faster than I could think. And it was clear that I had hurt Mikasa. 

"I do not know Levi personally... But I looked through your stuff" Her voice came out as a whisper.  That was the last straw, my eyes shaded over as my voice lowered. 

"Get out." 

"Eren, please I'm only doing this because I-" 

"I said GET OUT!" 

 "Because I love you!" Mikasas words stopped me dead in my tracks. My whole body cold as I slowly lifted up my head, my eyes growing wide. Mikasa knew I liked men, so why? Why now? What even gave her the right to look through my phone. I couldn't get words to leave my mouth. Time seemed frozen, silence now filling the apartment. Only the sounds of our breathing could be heard and the occasional city cars outside. 

"I should have told you sooner, but after you and Erwin split I thought I had a chance. I tried to damn hard Eren... Then I found out Levi took you to his home. I was filled with so much jealousy that I looked through your phone and I saw messeges and calls from him. It's not fair, you met him one night. Eren I've loved you for 8 years!" Mikasas voice was raising now, cracking with her tears. I stood frozen as she continued. "I spent each and every day trying my hardest for you. But I was invisible. You never wanted me. I get that, but please don't kick me out." 

I took a deep breath avoiding her eyes before speaking. "Look, Mikasa, I'm sorry. It was wrong of you to look through my phone, I'm not a child. But I've never felt that way towards you and I'm sorry if you-"

The touch of warm lips enveloped mine before I could finish. They were petal soft, But a sick feeling grew in my stomach as it twisted. knowing it was Mikasa that just kissed me. She wasn't hard to push off, stumbling back. My breathing was heavy and my body shook. There was nothing, no spark, no emotion, I felt absolutely nothing. I wanted to throw up, I wanted it to be Levi that was kissing me. Not her. 

Ignoring Mikasas calls back to me I took off out the door, completly ignoring her. I needed to see Levi. Dialing his number running down the apartment stairs. There was a few rings till that deep sultry voice rang through my ears. 

"Eren? I figured you'd call" There was a small chuckle on the end of the line as Levi continued; "Do you need something bright eyes?" 

I took a deep but shaky breath. Trying to calm myself down before speaking. "Can we go out somewhere? anywhere is fine?" There was a short pause from Levi then a response that made my heart slam into my chest. 

"I'm on my way." 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter two: Car ride**

* * *

   My heart pounded nervously as I stood outside on the sidewalk looking out at the street. I bounced back and forth trying not to distract attention from bistanders as my hands shook  with nervousy. Soon Levi would be with me, soon everything would be okay. But no matter what I did, or how much I thought of him, the thought of Mikasa haunted my mind. Even though I didn't have feelings for her like that, I still hurt her deeply. And I tend to forget she was the one that took me in after finding me on the street close to death. Without Mikasa I would most likely be dead. How long had her feelings existed? How could I face her again? 

  My thoughts were pulled away from me by the sound of a car horn. There he was; Sitting in the driver's side of a sleek-black Mercedes Benz. Levi had money, way to much money. But I didn't really care about the car, or the money. My legs shook slightly and I wondered how I was even able to walk without collapsing right in front of him. Levi, the guy I swore I wouldn't go near again. The guy that I swore wasn't right for me. I was nothing but a glutton for punishment. 

  Levis car was miraculously clean. As expected, I was scared to touch even the seats in it. Quietly trying to steady my breath, thinking it wasn't possible to notice the sound of my heartbeat. Levi scoffed quietly speaking in a teasing tone; 

  "What are you some anime school girl? I'm not a murder you don't have to be so nervous" 

  That silky, soft, yet deep voice seemed to melt right through me. Those steel-gray eyes contradicted his playful mood. And part of me wanted nothing more than to get lost in them. As awkward as the car ride was, I was comfortable. Not because of the seats per say, but because Levis presence in itself.  Was an array of comfort I've never felt with someone else. The silence we shared after his comment was comfortable as well. Unlike me and Mikasa which is usually awkward and heavy. I quietly turned my head to the side, examining the clear blue sky and feeling the hum of the road. 

  "So you and your roommate get into a fight or something?" 

  Levis question caused me to snap my head up, completely directing my attention to his blank facial expression. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I bit my lip before speaking and looking down at my feet. "How is it any of your business?" I tried to sound mean, but I was failing horribly. My question seemed hollow and empty, having no affect on the beautiful man sitting next to me. 

  "Well, You seemed pretty hell bent on getting away from me before. There was a girl who picked you up the other way from my apartment, so I figured she was either your girlfriend, sister, or roommate. There had to be a reason why you were desperate enough to call me." Levi mumbled quietly, eyes still focusing on the road. 

  "I do have a roommate, she took me in after-" I bit my lip again, stopping my words and switching it around before continuing "-she's always been like a sister to me, she confessed to me and I didn't like her back. So she decided to kiss me." 

  Upon the blank expression, I could have sworn I heard Levi snicker. Eyes slightly turning to me as my heartbeat sped up. "Did you atleast enjoy it?" I could hear Levis voice dripping with satire and a little bit of hurt. 

  "I've always only liked guys she knows that too." I was surprised when Levi directed the car to the side of the road, the engine humming to a purr as it stalled. My stomach twisting in nervousy as my eyes grew wide. I attempted to focus on the cars passing by on the highway. Confused as to why Levi had just pulled over. It felt like some creepy movie in a way, where the murderer finally hones instincts on his victim  and kills them. But Levi was far from a killer, I was the only murderer in the car. My whole body from when I heard the click of a seatbelt. The silence was evident as Levis soft breaths filled the car. I didn't care turn my head, I stayed frozen in my seat when warm lips breathed into my neck gently. 

  "ya know, it's not fair she got to kiss you first." Levis sultry voice purred into my ear, causing my entire body to shake. I felt like my entire body was melting into the seat of his car. My body worked on its own as I tilted my head to the side, giving leeway for Levi to do whatever he wanted to it. But instead he paused right before touching my skin. Lips hovering over my neck in a tantalizingly slow way. This man as bound to drive me insane. Warm, slender fingers wrapped around the edge of my chin, bringing my green eyes to meet steel gray eyes. This man was beautiful, every inch, there wasn't a single flaw. 

  I wanted Levis lips on mine, I wanted his hands to roam my body. I wanted those beautiful eyes to melt into mine, I wanted his warm skin radiating onto mine, like the summer sun. I wanted to hear his voice whisper my name as my hands roamed his beautifully sleek black hair. Tugging it softly. Levi was a warm summer night, the protection I've always needed. Levi was the temptation of sleepless nights on satin sheets. Levi was the safety blanket that pulled around me, Levi was the alluring-yet satisfying warmth that wrapped around my heart and tugged at every string. 

  Then all I could feel was his lips. Soft, comforting lips. Levis lips felt like the inside of a rose petal. Hot and heavy like the dawn of the sun. I wanted more, I wanted that heat, that drive. I wanted those lips, that body. I wanted all of Levi, his problems, his flaws. I wanted every inch of his body. I seemed to lose control in the kiss, our lips moved in a rhythmic way. Our tongues dances back and forth as the car quickly heated up around us. My body was pressed again the door of the car, absentmindely forgetting we were on the side of a highway. I lost control of my hands, grabbing the collar of Levis shirt pulling him out of the driver's seat and almost into my lap. Despite my grabby, needy hands, Levis hands wandered my body slowly. Sliding down every inch, every crevice of my chest. 

  Then, nothing. When I opened my eyes, I caught a veiw of Levis face. He was even more beautiful. Red swollen lips, eyes glazed over with a lust that made my heart go crazy. Slamming against my chest at a million miles a minute. "We need to slow down before I wind up fucking you on the side of a highway." Levis voice was raspy and deep, his breathing erratically heavy. 

  As much as I wanted to continue, if Levi wouldn't have pulled back, my emotions would have gone out of control. I would have lost control. I didn't even know Levi well. I didn't know his past, or who he was. He could have had another lover on the side. So why am I giving into him so quickly? Disappointment flooded me when Levi turned back to his seat, hands noticeably shaking as he buckled his seatbelt. Pain begin to grow in my groin and I mentally cursed myself for being a male. I guessed Levi felt the same way because he cleared his throat, face twisted into pain as he pulled the car back onto the highway. 

  My emotions were a mess, and I wanted nothing more than to be home. In my own room. Without the thoughts of the sexy man that just made out with me on the side of a highway. Confusion filled me when Levi did a U-turn, his car speeding up to faster rates than other people. Eyes now dead set on one goal. 

  "Where are we going?" Although I knew the answer, part of me knew that this date was over before it began. But something more exciting was waiting and my body quickly filled up with anticipation. 

"To my apartment." 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four: Lust**

* * *

   I didn't seem to notice. I didn't seem to notice the impatience I held as Levi squeezed my hand the whole car ride to his apartment, I didn't seem to notice the stares we got running through the parking lot into the lobby. And I didn't seem to notice the doors to the elevator we stepped in closing. But what I did notice, the the lust my body was radiating. The fire burning inside my soul for the man standing in front of me. We were a mess the moment the doors slid closed; Teeth clashing, tongue dominating, mashed together in a tangle of limbs pressed against the elevator wall. I no longer had control of my body, I was wholly, entirely, and completely Levis to own. 

  I wanted more, I wanted so much more. More of Levis body, more of his touch. Every eager grab, every squeeze, every scratch we gave each other didn't seem to be enough. The short time in the elevator left us like a couple of wild animals in heat. The moment the doors opened, we were already running to Levis room. Like it was a race against time, like the world would end if we didn't get on one last touch; one last kiss. My hands shook violently attempting to open the door, but with Levis warm breath on the back of my neck, my mind was clouded over. After several attemptes I pushed the door open, grabbing Levis lower waist as I pulled his soft yet harsh lips against mine, relishing in the comfort. 

  We stumbled into Levis apartment, a mess of lust and emotions. I kicked the door shut with my foot before taking the man in front of me and slamming him against it. Levi was a thing of beauty. Messy hair, red cheeks and lips. I wanted nothing more than to kiss Levi till his lips were sore, till his body was shaking and he was waning in pleasure.  Levis legs locked securely around my waist while his hands found my hair, causing a moan to arise from my throat when he tugged on it gently. 

  When I pulled back, it was evident that the lust that emitting from me, matched Levi as well. Those usually serious silver eyes, burned a new feeling into me. My body was no longer, my soul no longer belonged to me. I always swore I would never get this close to someone again, I would never let my walls come down. My life had always been that way ever since I was young. But staring into Levis eyes, I began to wonder maybe; Just maybe I can let my gaurd down once for the beautiful man in my arms. I indulged in the feeling of Levis tongue intertwined with mine, and the feeling of his steaming bare chest when I slid off his shirt. Even though I had seen Levi shirtless before, this was different. This filled my soul with desire and lust. 

  I dropped Levi gently, taking his chin with the tip of my finger and tilting his head up. My eyes scanned Levis eyes for any type of emotion, but all I got was lust. 

  "Let's take this to your bedroom" Levi shivered when my words caressed into his ears. trying to make my voice as deep and as sensual as possible. It must have worked because Levi immediately agreed. The sun was barely setting when we reached the room, the window emitted rays of red and yellow sunlight to shine through the room. Cascading a shadow onto Levis beautiful figure. Everything about him was more breathtaking than I could have ever imagined. If this was all a dream, I didn't want to wake up. I slowly made my way over to Levi, and for the first time I could have sworn a hint of fear scattered across his face. 

  Noticing his expression, I took his hand gently, placing it up to my heart. The pounding only became louder when Levis eyes widened and a small smile of reassurance grew on my lips. 

  "I want this, Levi I want you. We may not know each other a lot, but there's so much I want to know." Before I could finish my sentence, I was pulled down to Levis height as his lips found mine once again. The kisses grew heavier, as our hands began to wander. Both of us were growing impatient, both wanted the other in more ways than we could express. It was inticing and exciting. I relished in Levis quietly soft moans when my lips found the hollow areas of his neck. As my hands slowly pulled off his jeans and revealed the prize that was waiting for me. Something set off inside me the moment I saw the rest of Levis body. Sexual desire flooded my every nerve as I layed him down on his bed. I couldn't hold back any longer. 

  "God you are so beautiful" the words flew out of my mouth faster than I could think, my teeth dug deeply into Levis neck causing a louder moan than I expected. I continued to bite and suck one side, then started on the other. I wanted more. I wanted Levi to moan louder, say my name. He was completely at my mercy, and that filled me with happiness. I took pleasure in the thought, that for the moment Levi was all mine. 

  I didn't have to think about my ex, or my past. I didn't have it think about everything I've possibly fucked up in my life, I didn't need to think about a future. All I need was here, and now. The present won't last forever, and every bone in my body and fiber of my being ached for Levi. But when I pushed aside the lust; I wondered how long it would last. How long I would have this little bit of light before it slips from my grasp. 

  As I pulled back, I examined every outline and crevice of Levis body. One arm hung over his eyes, while his mouth was parted slightly. Chest moving up and down deeply, with his face burning red with desire. Levi was breaktaking in every way, and I wanted to ravish him. I didn't waste time making my way down Levis body. His head pushed back into the pillow when I reached his waist line, licking, biting, and sucking on it. Receiving even more lustful-yet sinful noises spilling out of Levis mouth the moment I slid my hands up his tight thighs and squeezed them. He was burning hot, even more so feeling my teeth gently graze his inner thigh. 

  "Eren, fuck please just stop teasing" Levis words choked out, his voice sounded more of a hushed whisper. Like he was dehydrated, and I was the water he needed desperately. I chuckled quietly biting my bottom lip when I eyed his member. He was big, which seemed to turn me on even more. I licked my top lip before licking the bottom of Levis shaft, slowly sliding my tongue in an upwards motion. 

  "Nnh-ah!" Levi threw his head back in pleasure when I slid the head of his member in my mouth, swirling it around with my tongue. It was clear my teasing was driving Levi insane. I hummed quietly, sending vibrations onto Levis lower body, sliding his member all the way in my mouth till it hit the back of my throat. I never knew not having a gag reflex would come in handy. Levi cried out as his hands flew to my hair and pulled it harshly, causing a moan to escape my throat. The shaking I felt in his lower body told me he was close. But I couldn't let that happen just yet. I pulled my lips off Levis member with a 'pop' sound. Ignoring his whines for my touch. I slowly crawled back up to Levis body receiving a small gasp when I tugged on his earlobe with my teeth. 

  "Where's your lube baby?" 

  "The top drawer of my dresser" It was clear those were words Levi could barely muster. The immense pleasure he was feeling kept him from even being able to mutter a sentence. I quickly leaned over to Levis dresser, oddly surprised as the array of sexual items he had in it. I grabbed the lube and shut the drawer, leaning over Levi as I pressed gently kisses into his neck over the newely forming hickeys. As I kissed Levis neck I squeezed the lube onto my hand and rubbed it in circles on my now throbbing member. 

  "Eren, please fuck me. Please" It felt amazing to see Levi beg for me, it filled me with a sexually strong desire that alerted my senses. 

  "I'm going to loosen you up first baby" I purred into Levis ear, his eyes squeezed shut as deep breaths escaped his swollen lips. A slight cry of pain slowly turning into pleasure rolled off Levis tongue and into my ear. I slid my lips over his to distract him, our tongues dancing together back and forth in each other's mouths while I scissored him. When I felt like Levi was loose enough, I positioned the tip of my member with Levis hole. If he was nervous, it wouldn't have been obvious. Levis face was flushed with lust, heat and estrogen rolled off every inch of his beautiful body. 

 "Hook your legs around my waist baby" 

  Levi obeyed my words, quickly doing so as I pushed in deeper. The deeper I pushed, the more Levis back would arch. His voice grew loud enough to where the people next store could hear. I dove into his lips again, this time the kiss was heated and rough. Not even a hint of tenderness. It was teeth clashing, tongue tangling lust that Levi dripped with. When I pushed all the way in, I couldn't escape the moans coming from my throat. Levis body was enveloping me in every way, taking me in so well. My body was melting into his, heat growing around my member. I lost complete control of my body, thrusting in hard causing Levi to cry out in pleasure. His hands found my hair again, tugging on it as his legs hooked around my body tightly. Levi threw his head to the side, mouth hanging open as he mouthed a slew of curse words. 

  I began to feel a familiar warmth pool in the bottom of my stomach, knowing Levi was close as well I slid my hand around his throbbing member that was leaking pre-cum. 

  "Eren fuck, I'm gonna-" Levis hands flew back, grabbing his own hair as his back arched off the bed. Every ounce of cum he held in covered his stomach. No longer being able to hold back, I thrusted inside him one last time before I filled all of Levis insides with my cum. Nearly collapsing as I rode out my high. I pulled out, gasping and out of breath as I fell beside Levi. Neither of us spoke for a moment, trying to calm our breathing down. I could no longer take it back, as much as I needed to avoid Levi, I gave myself to him. Completely and wholly. 

  A disgusted scoff from Levi pulled me out of my trance, his voice was littered with annoyance. "Were filthy. We need to take a shower." 

  In the shower, there was no sexual tension. There was no lust. It was simply a comfort. Watching that beautiful man stand in the shower as water slowly slid down his chest. I wanted to cherish the feeling of my hands running gently through Levis hair as I washed it. I wanted to cherish the look in his eyes as he slid his hands on my cheeks, softly kissing my lips under the heat of the shower water. I wanted to cherish every minute of that small little moment, before it slipped from my grasp completely. 

  Before this new light I have, vanishes compeltly.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! that was a ride. It took me an entire day to write this chapter because I kept getting writers block, but I'm proud to say it's finished Now!:)


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five: Emotions**

* * *

    I sat on Levis big bed alone in his room in the dark. Staring quietly out the rather large window into the night sky and out at the bright city lights that stretched for smiles. The only sounds heard, was my gentle breathing and the noises of the city fading into the night down below.  In my mind I wondered how long, how long could I keep the secrets from Levi that I kept so well hidden. How long until everything I've tried so hard to cover up comes crashing down? How long until I lose the one person who has already become so important to me in such a short amount of time. My mind continued to wander, until the creek of Levis door startled me. 

  The shadow of the lights through the window, cascaded onto Levi. Just barely giving me a visual of his usually stoic expression. He seemed to be holding a cup, quietly walking over to me as he set it on the night stand beside me. 

  "I brought you some water, I figured you are most likely dehydrated from earlier." I could do nothing but stare at Levi. This wasn't the same man, this wasn't the man that took me home when I was drunk. This wasn't the cold-stoned man who never expressed emotions. This was different, this wasn't Levi. The bed dipped slightly as Levi sat down next to me, but he wasn't facing me. He was staring out the window, eyes focused on something I couldn't put my finger on. I quietly picked up the cup with both my hands, sipping gently. I hadn't even realized how parched my throat was, I looked up at Levi as he continued to stare out the window. The silence was off; uncomfortable. 

  My head spun in a whirlwind of emotions. Just a few hours ago, I gave every fiber and being of my body to this beautiful man. This beautiful-yet strange man who was so willing to help me after watching me get close to my no good ex. 

  When you first see Levi, he's different. He's cold, and mean. Keeping up a wall that may seem impossible to break down. But moments like this, when he sits quietly on the bed staring into the night; A new side of him emerges. And for once, that wall, slightly comes down. In the midst of the sliver of light reflecting on his face, you can see a new emotions. An innocent, yet sad emotion. I wondered what made that mask fall around me, maybe it was cause we had sex earlier. Or maybe it was Levi was just as drawn to me as much as I was him. Whatever the case was, this was a small amount of the real Levi that I hoped to see more of down the line. 

  "Levi? you can come lay down" Finally my words broke the silence something snapped in Levi. His mind came back to him, and in the adjustment of the darkness, that cold glare was back. 

  "No it's fine, I'll let you have the bed tonight. I'll just sleep on the couch."  

  Before I got another word in, he quickly walked out if the room, leaving me in the dark silence of the night. My eyes adjusted well to the ceiling as I lay back and stare at it. While the distant sound of the nighttime city life below me outside the window echoed. It was relaxing, as relaxing as the scent of cologne that wafted off Levis pillows and blankets. The smell of fresh linins, the warmth, the comfort that surrounded me. It reminded me of a time I never had as a child. I never even slept on a bed half the time, always on the run, always on the streets. But more than just the bed-Levi was a comfort I've never felt. Levi is the sun on a cloudy day, or the gentle rain on a tin roof. Levi is my comfort in my darkness, my light; and that in itself, terrifies me. Because I never asked for this little ray of light, suddenly in my heart. I only wanted my darkness. I didn't understand it, it was confusing and new.  Maybe it won't work out. but maybe seeing if it will, will be the best adventure ever. 

  Levi was changing me, my drinking was getting better. I haven't smoked in a few days, I wasn't even sure that Levi realized what he was doing. Before I met Levi, I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Having sex with any guy, a one night stand. Then it's over the next morning, after losing my ex Erwin, all my trust dissapaited into nothing. I looked for pleasure in anyone and anything. I no longer cared, but earlier, becoming intimate with Levi. Becoming one with this man ive only known for a short time, was better than anything I've ever felt. It was wonderful, glorious, bliss. But despite all the bliss, happiness, my improvements-I couldn't escape my past. I couldnt escape the fact that I'm a murderer, I can't keep hiding. And one day, Levi is going to find out, and that little bit of light I have will fizzle into nothing. 

  My face was everywhere, I was known everywhere. I was nothing but a monster, but I did anything to survive, and that's what people didn't understand. I had to kill, lie, steal, or barter to make my way in the world. Or I would end up like my parents. I built up my world in my own, crazy, possessive way. To live, to survive, to thrive. Levi needed to stay away from me, or so I thought. The day when I lose him due to this, I'll be in the exact pattern again. But in the back of my mind i wondered, what is Levis past? maybe he had secrets he couldn't share. But even without knowing his past, I know we are completly diferent. He had everything. The looks, the money. And all I have is a bad reputation and blood on my hands. 

  My body shook as I tried not to cry into my pillow, my whole body racking now with every gasp. I had hoped Levi wouldn't hear, but the thoughts in my head tortured me, taunted me, burned me from the inside out. I need to let Levi go before I lose him. Before he leaves me, before my world crashes down again. The darkness turned fuzzy as I attempted to close my eyes but they stung. Part of me wished this was some crazy dream, that I would wake up feeling the crushing disappointment that Levi isn't here. That I would continue on with my life without him, living the life I've always had before. My cries got to Levi, because the next thing I knew the sound of the door swung open and warm hands were shaking me. But I wasn't there, my hands and feet were numb my stomach was twisted into knots. 

  "Eren? oi! I'm here it's okay calm down!" Levis voice sounded like it was echoing in a tunnel, or some canyon far away. Without a warning I jolted up, shoving Levi away and pushing my back to where my back hit the headboard, hard. 

  "Get away from me! I don't want to hurt you!" Levis eyes grew wide at the tone of my voice, then narrowed with confusion and suspicion. Although I still had no control of my hands or feet, I could see levis expressions as clear as day. 

  "Eren... what happened to you?" The words barely came out as a whisper, they were shaky and didn't sound like they belonged to Levi. I couldnt say anything, tears just littered my cheeks non stop. I attempted to wipe each one away but it only got worse. Without saying another word, Levi quietly moved over to me. Still being cautious. The next thing I knew, I was laying under the blankets with Levi as his arms wrapped around like a saftey net. Pulling me into his warm chest. Levi wasn't much for words, but when he did things like this it really mattered to me. I focused on the rythem of levis steady yet gentle breathing as he slowly fell asleep. It pulled me into a euphoric feeling I never wanted to let go of. I snuggled closer, my lips tugging at the corners, creating a small smile as I too fell asleep into the gentle cascading comfort that was Levi. 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six: Confusion**

* * *

  The next morning the sun cascaded into the room brighting it up, the spot next to me that Levi occupied last night was now empty. My hand slowly yet gently ran over the area where he layed the other night. It was cold, he had been gone for awhile. I sighed quietly lay back against the cool sheets and staring at the ceiling. As I thought to myself, my thoughts traced back to the night before, and the days leading up to what happened. Meeting Levi, Mikasa admitting her feelings, everything was going too fast. 

 I needed to leave, before it was too late. I was terrified about Levi learning about my past, the secrets I held. Although part of me wanted to trust he wouldn't leave, the silver lining in the back of my mind just refused to comply. 

I decided to finally get up, not realizing how much pain my body was in, and how warm I actually was till I moved my body. The cold air of the room clung to my skin as I slid my jeans back on walking through the room. I winced at the sensation of the wood floor and started to look for Levi. Due to the silence throughout the house I figured he was gone, yet I still walked through the rather large apartment to search. The rooms, the bathrooms, the living room, Levi was nowhere in sight. 

Walking into the kitchen there was no sign of Levi, but a plate sat on the counter with a peice of paper over it. Lifting up the paper and set it to the side, I realized Levi made my favorite breakfast; Pancakes with bananas and syrup. I smiled thoughtfully at his gesture and read the paper that was on top of the food, in neat letters it read: 

_"Eren, I left for work and I'm sorry I couldn't be here when you woke up, but I  made some breakfast for you and I hope you enjoy it."_

My heart slightly pounded as it filled with a new feeling as I re-read the paper over and over again in my hands. A gesture nobody has ever made for me. After sitting down, I cut the pancakes and slid them into my mouth, enjoying the sweet savory flavor that bursted into my mouth. As a child, I never grew up with delicious food like most kids had, but sometimes when the leader the gang I grew up in, took pity on me and occasionally made me pancakes as we would eat them together. That was one of the few good memories I had of my childhood. 

 I wanted to live in that small moment, even without Levi by my side. But the apartment was quiet without his voice, or the sounds of our breathing colliding together as my heart beats like a hammer against cloth. I wanted to slide my hand over Levis face, tracing my fingers down his jawline as our lips pressed against each other again. But sadly, that wasn't reality. This wasn't my apartment, and this wasn't my home. Eventually I knew I would have to get back to Mikasa, even if I didn't want to face her. I lived in a reality, where I'm scarred and battered from a past I have no control over. 

I tore myself away from the delicious food as I quietly walked to Levis room. Before I left, I wanted to clean up a little bit. Walking into the room,  though already big enough, without Levis figure standing sillhouetted in it, the room seemed much smaller. Like it would have in on me at any moment. I worried in the back of my mind, if last night was the last time I ever see him. I needed to leave.

I continued to do what my plan was, I got dressed, pulling on my blue button up shirt and started to make the bed. I pulled the rather large and heavy white comforter over the pillows and straigtned out the creases. The whole bed seemed to pretty to lay on. Fluffy white pillows lay perfectly against the brown headboard.  As I was making the bed, I felt my foot hit something underneith it, something that looked to be a picture frame. But when I bent down and pulled it out, my stomach seemed to drop. 

Shoved under the bed, was a picture. My heart sunk in its chest as I stared on it. Inside the picture, perfectly set in a little black frame; Was a image of Levi and another girl. They stood in a meadow surrounded by grassy hills and sunshine. The girl wore a white sunflower dress, flowing with the wind. Her hair was a copper tone and brown eyes smiled wildly; As if she was never sad. Almost childlike. Her stomach was round with a baby, and behind her stood Levi. His arms were wrapped around her waist as his hands rested on her stomach, Levi was smiling. 

The room spun slightly as I didn't dare rip my eyes away from the happy image in my hands. Did Levi have a child? What happened in his life? I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears are I carefully set the picture down, as if It would shatter if I made one wrong move. It was then I learned, I knew nothing about levi, and he knew nothing about me. This was just a one time thing, eventually he would leave like the rest. I willed my body to leave, storming through the apartment, I didn't feel okay until I reached the outside hallway. 

Everything hurt, my body was caving in on itself and I was giving up again. What did I know about Levi? that he was a bartender? That was all. I should have listened to Mikasa. Tears filled my eyes as I ran outside, the city busseld, completly unaware of my breakdown. I called Mikasa several times but it only kept going to voicemail. Panic begin to set in my heart, and I wanted nothing more than to dissapear. 

 Eventually, I got fed up at not getting an answer, still fighting back tears I called a cab to go home. 

The cab ride was gruesome enough. having to listen to the driver as me questions, ask me if I was okay, I was far from okay. When I finally reached my apartment I shoved the money at him and took off towards my apartment room. But when I finally made it there, something stopped me in my tracks. There was no sounds coming from the other end of my apartment room, it sounded dead silent.  I figured it was Mikasa still being upset me, so I walked in. But the moment I did, my heart shattered worse than ever before. 

Standing there with tears streaming her face, Mikasas body shook. Her eyes seemed cold as her words fell from her lips. 

"Eren, it's your ex Erwin, he got into a car accident a few days ago." 

Time itself, stopped. 


End file.
